Out and about

I was going to comment on J.K. Rowling's revelation that Albus Dumbledore is gay, but Kello beat me to the punch here:

Makes me wonder how many other characters in literature are just waiting to be outed...

Abscess makes the heart grow fonder

The Cats have been costing us a lot of money. First the evil devil cat grew an enormous abscess over his eye. Obviously he had been fighting with some other Cat. So off to the vet, and 10 days of squirting Augmentin down his throat. Then we found that the big ol' three-leggedy cat had an abscess on his big ol' belly. Two bottles of Augmentin for him, 'cos he's such a "well-built" Cat. Barely had we finished that when Devil Cat turned up with yet another gash over his eye, just about to turn into another abscess. We have gotten very good at squirting Augmentin down his little gullet. But why do they make the veterinary product banana flavored? If it was chicken or tuna flavored, maybe the Cats wouldn't run from us when they see the bottle!

bad bad blogger

I have been a bad blogger. Greedily reading other people's blogs, but not posting to my own. Must try to do better.

In the year 2012

Dinner-time conversation tonight turned to the coming apocalypse. It is the opinion of First and Second Sons that in 2012, when the Mayan calendar comes to an end that it will be the beginning of the end. Or the end of the beginning, perhaps. The form of the apocalypse is unclear -- zombies, maybe, fire from the sky, possibly. However since it is only five years away, we must begin to consider important things, like whether post-apocalyptic fashion will include stylish leather outfits (like on Mad Max), and whether it is important to keep a good deal of Spam on hand, in case it becomes legal currency.

September 11 (a little late, part two)

For those of us of a certain age, living in the US, September 11, 2001 is a bookmark in the album of of our lives. There is "before September 11," and "after September 11."

For me, this defining event, this event that I felt so connected to, was not something I felt I could wholly own. It is only now, six years later, that I am beginning to allow myself to own, and to feel the sadness that I should have felt in 2001.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with a friend who recently lost her beloved husband, the father of her two small children. Since his unexpected death, she had been very busy. She had to suddenly take on the burden of single parenthood, she had to do all the chores and errands one must do someone dies, she had moved to another state to be closer to family, she had found a new job. I asked her if she had taken time to be sad, so that she could start to heal. She said that she felt the reason she was so busy was to avoid having to feel sad. She had to keep moving so she wouldn't feel the pain.

Now the sadness I feel about September 11 is a small thing compared to the devastating loss my friend is experiencing. But like her, I have not allowed myself to feel the pain fully. When I think about why, it seems silly -- how could I let another person define how I should feel? Writing this makes it seem even sillier to me -- I realize it makes me look like the kind of neurotic woman who can't take responsibility for her own emotions, and has to blame her problems on her mother.

I am, you realize, a grown woman. Fully grown, mature, (dare I say, beyond middle-aged?) able do all sorts of things that only grown-ups can do, like parenting teen-agers, and driving in snow-storms, and cooking for eight at the drop of a hat. But despite all of this grown-upness, I can still be affected by what my mother says.

My mother lived in Wimbledon during World War II. Which means she lived through the Blitz. What she said in 2001 was, "I don't know why everyone's making such a fuss about this. It's not like the Blitz, you know." And she's right, it's not like the Blitz. And with that statement, I allowed her to make my connectedness, my sadness, feel wrong, and unnecessary. It's not like the Blitz. It was a small thing in context of world history. A morning of pain, not a war.

Now, in September 2007, I am starting to be able to to feel okay about feeling sad about September 11. I respect what my parents went though in World War 2. I am deeply grateful that I have never experienced anything like that. I pray that I and my family will never experience anything like that. But that does not diminish the appropriateness of my own feelings about September 11. There is nothing wrong with me for feeling the connections I feel, for sharing the shock and grief of the event. I can make a fuss about it if I choose, and I do choose , by remembering, by seeking peace, and by never seeing a clear blue September sky without praying for all involved.

September 11 (a little late, part one)

Everyone has their September 11 story. I'm sure almost everyone in the the United States, and I would imagine in most of the Western world, can tell you what they were doing when they heard that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. They can tell you whether they knew someone involved, or knew someone who knew someone. They can tell you who they worried about, or wanted desperately to see, and what they did to respond to the tragedy. It was an event shared by a nation. We saw it unfold together. Because we all have our stories, and there are so many stories, and because some of the stories are so personal and real and tragic, any individual story, like mine, is just a tiny piece of the tapestry of September 11, 2001.

I wasn't surprised when it happened. I had been concerned for several years that the American people lived blissfully unaware of the possibilities of terrorism. When I mentioned to people that the US could be vulnerable to terrorist attack, people assured me that it was unlikely. This was despite Lockerbie, despite Oklahoma City, and despite the previous attack on the World Trade Center. It worried me to go to places like Disney World and not see any evidence of security, and I wondered how it could be that we felt so safe. So when it happened, I wasn't surprised. But I was deeply saddened, and I felt incredibly connected to what happened that morning. I also felt that I wasn't supposed to feel so connected or so sad.

I had spent nearly ten years of my career as a consultant. I spent so much time on planes that I can't even begin to enumerate the number of flights I took over those ten years. I knew what it was like to get up early to catch the early flight, and not even to consider it as dangerous -- just another way to get to work. As soon as I heard that the first plane to hit was a commercial jet, I knew immediately who had been on it. Business travelers and vacationers, families, and people hoping to see their families soon, flight crew and cabin crew. I was connected to them.

I have worked for living since Speed Racer and I were first married. I've worked for large and small companies, and when I worked as a consultant, I visited all kinds of office buildings, from New York skyscrapers to suburban office parks. When I heard that a a major office building had been hit, I knew immediately who had been there -- executives and custodians, administrators and consultants, trainers, and caterers, temps, and lifers, and everyone in between. People who were excited about being at work, people who were just putting in time, people whose career was their life and people who worked so they could enjoy their lives. I was connected to them.

On the morning of September 11, before the planes hit, a friend of ours died of cancer. On September 15, Speed Racer and I drove up to East Orange, NJ for her funeral. Driving along the New Jersey Turnpike toward the Oranges, you can see a beautiful view of Manhattan. That Saturday, smoke still rose from the crater where the towers stood. At our friend's funeral, the priest said that this was only the first of many funerals he would be conducting over the next few weeks, as many of the firefighters and office workers came from his parish. Seeing that column of smoke and hearing that priest cemented the reality of the event for me.

In 2001, I was working at our Malvern campus, and I had a long, but beautiful drive to work. There is a church on this route -- a church where, in October, was held the funeral of one of the pilots. Days before the funeral, TV network news trucks set themselves up outside this church. Again, another reminder of reality, that this was not an event that happened to other people on TV somewhere. These were neighbours of mine -- people I was connected with.

The choir room is a high-crime area

I should have known better -- I left my purse in the choir room during the installation service. While we were all in the church, someone opened my purse and my wallet, and removed my Visa debit card and about $8.00 in cash. I was lucky, because there were a lot of other credit cards, cell phone, blackberry etc. that weren't touched. The poor thief apparently went straight to Wal*mart, but tried to buy more there than was in the account (we use this account just for "walking-around money" so it's not linked to the account where we keep the real money.)
The reason I should have known better is that I once had a leather jacket stolen from that same choir room. It's a good place to steal things from, because once the service starts, no-one is down that end of the hall, and thieves have free reign to take whatever they want.

Busy, busy, busy

Gosh, I haven't posted in over a week. There's been plenty going on, especially at church, where we just had a huge ecclesiastical shindig to install our new rector. String quartet, Bach and Mozart, trumpet, additional organist, etc. The music alone was amazing -- especially so because it was pulled together with just one rehearsal. Then there was the procession, with 7 of my wonderful acolytes carrying crosses and banners.
If we had just added one or two baby elephants you would have thought we were putting on a performance of Aida! A great time was had by all.

Opera, schmopera

Speed Racer got really mad at Mozilla Firefox, which is my favorite browser, just because it lost all his bookmarks. For the third time. He tried a number of other browsers, and decided to use Opera. It was open on the computer last night, and I used it to post to this blog. Let's just say Opera and Blogger are not friendly with each other. It's back to Mozilla for me.

iPhone Parenting

Speed Racer and I went to a house-warming on Saturday. The couple whose house it was are much younger than us, and a lot of their young friends were there. One of these young couples had a 21-month-old toddler, a really cute little girl. Being 21 months old, she was ready to explore this new house, grab all the nick-nacks, and try to eat all the unsuitable-for-toddlers food that had been put out for the party. Mom and Dad hadn't brought any toys for her, or food suitable for her, and after she had entertained herself for a good long while playing with the ice in the drinks coolers, she started to get a little whiny and bored.

No problem, Dad said, and he pulled on an iPhone. She relaxed on his lap, and started watching what Dad said was an educational cartoon, which was supposed to be teaching her the letters of the alphabet. She sat there, first on Dad's lap, and then on Mom's, mesmerized by the tiny animated characters on the tiny iPhone screen. Conversation turned to other topics, including somebody else's child who apparently is gifted. Mom and Dad opined that little Samantha was also gifted, as she already knew almost all her letters from watching this cartoon over and over.

Now, my kids watched way too much TV when they were little, and probably of all the wrong sort. But I never remember them being so passive in front of the tube -- they were either playing with toys or each other when it was on, or were interacting with it -- laughing at it and talking back. We often used the thing as baby sitter so dinner could get made, etc.

But watching this Gen Whatever-comes-next kid passively tuned into the iPhone made me into the worst sort of parental critic. I wanted to tell them that no child ever learned to read from watching cartoons, that 21-month-old toddlers shouldn't need an iPhone to keep them occupied, and that they should have brought some toys in the diaper bag. But I kept my mouth shut.

Whether iPhone parenting is what is going to rescue the US from being the educational back-water we have become, or whether it will lead to a generation of kids who really will be prepared for the complexities and technology of tomorrow, I almost forgot one key thing. Parenting is hard. Kids are wonderful, and and they light up your life, and only a few people ever admit that some days they wish they they had never become parents. But being a parent, especially being the parent of a toddler who is establishing her independence and is insatiably curious about everything she encounters, is really hard. If you find something that will keep your toddler quiet and occupied long enough for you to cook dinner, or have an adult conversation at a party, you will go for it, and you will keep going for it for as long as it works. And old people like me, who have forgotten how hard those days of parenting toddlers are, should keep their mouths shut.

Culture, popular and otherwise

I finally did watch the first two episodes of Californication.  It is absolutely filthy!  And decadent, and not morally redeeming in any way.  David Duchovny's character, Hank, is immature, selfish, lazy, a bad parent, and obsessed with sex.  I am really looking forward to the next episode.  

This show also demonstrates that David Duchovny can act.  As much as I loved him in the X-files, I was never sure if he was acting or just being himself.  But Hank is so totally different from Mulder.

On the literary front, my current books are Summer Night (the 4th on the Dresden Files series) which i said I wasn't going t read any more of, but they're sort of addictive, and The Kite Runner, which is as good as people say it is.  
 
I finished Cell when I was on vacation.  Not to spoil it for everyone, but that's really a cliff-hanger ending!

Friends in Literary Places

A friend of Second Son's who is a sophomore at Bard College runs this on-line literary journal: The Dove Cote. Check it out!

Summer's Over

well not really, but this week has been cold and rainy, and school is just around the corner for Third Son.
At work we have just started planning our goals and objectives for 2008, so it doesn't just feel like summer's over, it feels almost as if the year is over!
I saw Halloween candy in the grocery store last night.
And Third Son has been agitating for an iPhone for Christmas. (Which is SO not happening.) I thought teenagers didn't plan ahead!
I understand that it is just one more sign of advanced age when time seems to go faster and faster.

The War we Don't Need

I've been reading a lot of Medblogs over the past few days. Physicians are having a hard time, what with insurance companies second-guessing their every move, a need to be "productive," patients who either know nothing or know too much, and a malpractice environment that is out of control.
It seems that physicians see the pharma companies as one more group lined up to to be out to get them. We're really not in favor with physicians. Our sales practices are disruptive and viewed as manipulative. Our research is automatically suspect, because we funded it. Our prices are too high for patients. We bring out too many "me-too products" and not enough innovative ones. We advertise directly to consumers, who then worry unnecessarily, or pressure their doc for medicines they might not really need.
But the truth is, we're in this together. We need physicians to recognize which patients would benefit from our products and prescribe them. We need physicians to conduct the "unbiased" research that we can't conduct, just because we're too close to our products. We need physicians to tell us where the unmet medical needs really lie.
And physicians need pharmaceutical companies and their products. Without drugs and vaccines, old and new, there is little a physician can do to help many patients, other than cutting, or watching and waiting.
Maybe we should get to know each other a little better.

Old lust

back in the day, I used to be obsessed with the X-Files. Okay, actually, I was obsessed with David Duchovny. He has a new show on Showtime, Californication. Apparently it is very funny. I don't know yet, I forgot to watch it last night because I was posting my rant about John Edwards. But a repeat is being DVR'd tonight.

John Edwards is getting on my nerves

I really want to like John Edwards. Not that I can vote in the Presidential Election, what with me being an unrepentant Brit, but I do like to have someone to root for in an election. And I'd like to root for John Edwards. But he's really getting on my nerves. It's not the hair, although it's definitely better than mine. It's the way he talks about pharmaceutical companies.

I've heard him do it several times -- here's one quote: "Big insurance and pharmaceutical companies are writing our health care policies to ensure their own profits, not their customers' well being, while 45 million Americans go without health insurance and premiums skyrocket for everyone."

By this (I think) he means that pharma company lobbyists have undue influence in Washington, thereby contributing to the mess of the US healthcare system. Those poor Senators and Congress members are of course unable to resist the wiles of these evil lobbyists.

But what really bugs me is when he lumps together pharmaceutical companies, oil companies and tobacco companies in his litany of evil corporations. Why not throw in liquor companies and casinos while you're at it, John? Not to mention those big food corporations that market sugar disguised as cereal to our kids.

Now, I am of course completely biased on this topic. I work for a big pharma company. I wouldn't work for a tobacco company, a liquor company, or a sugar cereal company. Here's what we do that is so evil. We invent, develop, manufacture and market medicines that help sick people get better. For this work we have the audacity to expect that our inventions will be covered by a reasonable patent life. We also expect people to pay money for our products It takes about ten years (or longer) for us to bring a new product to market, and it costs nearly a billion dollars. (Though I'm not a finance expert, I can't figure out how you can spend a billion dollars to bring a drug to market and then give it away, or sell it for "generic" prices.)

In the current environment, our products are expected to be very effective, very innovative, and safer than liquor, cigarettes, automobiles, or sugared cereal. If they're not, trial lawyers like John Edwards will sue the pants off us.

John Edwards has proposed that pharmaceutical companies not be allowed to patent their products. Instead he would like to establish a "blue-ribbon panel" that would identify areas of unmet medical need and award prizes to companies that develop drugs to meet those needs. Who would fund those prizes? Would they at least cover the development of the drugs? That's crazy talk, man. This business is hard enough.

I know a lot of people who work for pharmaceutical companies. Almost all of them are in the business because they want to help patients -- patients like Elizabeth Edwards. Are there some who are in just for money? Sure there are. Are there better ways out there to ensure that pharma continues to meet unmet medical need and develop innovative new products? You bet, there have to be, or we'll all be out of business before long.

Pharma employees are young and old, healthy and sick, executives and blue collar workers, Democrats, Republicans, Americans and British, and Swiss , etc, etc.

But we are not evil.

Back to Reality

Yes, we're back. Vacation is over. It was great, even though it was hot in Florida, as advertised.
Coolest thing: watching the launch of the space shuttle from Cape Canaveral Beach. See that little dot? That's the space shuttle. Even cooler: hearing the sound of the space shuttle launch. It's hard to remember when you see that light climbing in the sky and hear that amazing noise that there are real people riding to space. I hope they fix their little hole in the heat shield and get home safely.

This vacation was a mini-reunion with Speed Racer's family who are not really family. Several years ago, while doing genealogy on the Racer family we met other "Racers" on-line. We have attended two "Racer" reunions - one in Germany, and one here in the US. Speed Racer found some second cousins he didn't know he had, and we also met some folks that must be related to him in some way that we don't know yet who are really terrific people. We invited two of these couples to join us in Florida, and we had a lot of fun together (also a lot of beer.) We are already thinking about hte next mini-reunion -- maybe in Las Vegas?

(I hope Baby Sister is not reading this because she really wants to go to Disney too, and she will be invited next time we go -- I promise!)

Yay vacation!

We (me , Speed Racer, Third Son and Third Son's friend Shawn) are leaving for Disney tomorrow morning. Yes, it's hot in Florida this time of year. But not any hotter than Philly!
First Son and his Girlfriend are holding down the fort at home. Hopefully, there will be no sign of Devil Dog.

CSI: Morton

Last night the Wawa where First Son and his Girlfriend work was robbed. First Son was there when it happened, although he wasn't involved. Apparently, a drunk felt he needed the money in the register. He didn't have a weapon, but he was threatening, so he got the money. By the time he left the store, a customer had called 911 and the cops showed up almost immediately (they were probably on their way there when they were dispatched -- they are in and out of the store all night.) He was caught two blocks away, and resisted arrest, so he's facing a long list of charges.

I am just grateful that First Son wasn't involved, that there was no weapon, and that his Girlfriend wasn't working last night. She wouldn't have taken it so calmly.

Oldtimers

On Saturday night Speed Racer and I had the chance to catch up with some friends from college we hadn't seen in really really long time. And by a long time, I mean (at least for one person) a quarter century. As in we could have celebrated the silver anniversary of not seeing each other.
Amazingly, even though we might appear to be quite a bit older, we are all still very simpatico, and Speed Racer and I enjoyed our evening. We're already planning to do it again, and hopefully ccpdppr will be able to join us.

We're not prepared

Today there was a water main break at the main pumping station that provides our water. We have to boil our drinking water for at least the next day. I told Speed Racer to use our emergency supplies.

• which consist of three gallons of water.
• for six or (given what our house is like) more people.
• for at least twenty-four hours.

After this I'm going to go out and get some real emergency supplies.

(But we still have 3 cans of Spam squirreled away for when the North Koreans (or whomever) attack -- I wonder why I thought Spam was so important to have on hand?)

Get Pumped, Part Deux

Speed Racer has made the super-duper filter work. He is still threatening that we have to take the whole thing apart and make a bigger hole in the bottom, but it works! We can actually see the fish in the pond now.

Get pumped

Speed Racer and I had a brilliant idea. Since the pond is still suffering from an overabundance of algae, we thought we would make a super-duper filter, which we will inoculate with a special culture of algae-eating bacteria (which I have yet to order.) Speed Racer bought yards of filter floss stuff and carbon mats, and yesterday we went to the Home Depot and bought various bits and pieces of tubing and galvanized nipples and a large and decorative pot with a nice hole in the bottom. From these ingredients, and a bag of river pebbles, we created the super-duper filter. We were so proud of ourselves!

Next, we filled the thing with water-- and found that the pot leaked! We removed all the filter floss, carbon stuff and the river pebbles so we could line the pot with black plastic garbage bags and re-assembled the whole thing. Again, pride at our own cleverness ensued, especially when we saw the that pot no longer leaked when filled with water.

After several attempts to connect the pump, we got the system going. However, the pond pump moves too much water for the super-duper filteriness of our super-duper filter. We quickly moved to Plan B -- using a pump that splits the output between the filter and a fountain. Poor Speed Racer had to keep getting in and out of the pond as he attempted to adjust the flow-rate of the pump and fountain. Jaws, the koi , was very annoyed and bit Speed Racer's foot. Finally we thought we had it right -- just the right amount of water going to the filter, and not too much going through the fountain, so the fountain wasn't spitting water out of the pond. Again, we were full of pride!

But last night, I went out to check the whole set-up before I went to bed, and found that the filter was overflowing, spilling pond water into the yard. So I turned the pump off. Speed Racer pondered what to do, and he just got back from Home Depot with a new galvanized nipple with a very beautiful valve in the middle of it. He just needs to get a few new hose clamps, and he'll try again. I have no doubt that he'll make it work, he always does.

One more lily

check this baby out! I don't even remember planting this, but I must have -- right? I mean, lilies don't "volunteer," do they?

On the "volunteer" front, I found a tomato plant growing in the pot with our ficus tree. The ficus tree spent last summer on the deck next to the tomato plants, and I'm guessing that a cherry tomato fell into the post, one of the seeds germinated, and lo and behold, a volunteer tomato. It has flowers on it, so we may get a second-generation tomato or two to eat before the end of the summer.

Jim Thorpe, PA

Speed Racer and I enjoyed our weekend in Jim Thorpe very much. Some knucklehead forgot to bring the camera, so we don't have any pictures of the town, the bed and breakfast, the train, the Lehigh River, etc. But we think it is definitely worth a return trip. Back in the day when the town was called by its original name, Mauch Chunk, it was the second most popular tourist attraction in North America, after Niagara Falls.

Third Son and his pals had a great time paintballing too.

The new dog next door

The new dog next door didn't go home until Monday afternoon. By that time, he had earned a new nick-name -- "Devil Dog." Speed Racer named him thus, and now even his family is calling him Devil Dog. Fortunately, he is adorable, (as seen in this picture that Speed Racer took of him) which is probably why he continues to exist! Since he went home, he has been quite confused about which house he lives in, and which car he is supposed to jump in.

The New Dog Next Door

is a total pain in the *ss. Just ask First Son and his Girlfriend who babysat him this weekend.
Peed on my NEW bedroom carpet.
and in the kitchen
and in the living room
Pooped in a couple of indoor places too
Chewed socks
and belts
and sneakers
Made Dog bark even more incessantly than he usually does.
Did not sleep all night in his crate as advertised
Drinks vast quantities of water and then walks around dripping from his muzzle
chased the Cats
and moves way too fast to have his picture taken which is why I have a picture of Baby Sister's dear departed springer Maggie instead, who also used to pee on my floor and walk around dripping water from her muzzle.
We are all hoping his family gets home from the their weekend trip really really soon, like in the next 10 minutes.

The new dog next door

is still there. He is a very sweet and friendly Springer Spaniel. I knew she wasn't going to give him away.

It's hard to blog when you're watching TV all the time

So I haven't posted anything this week, as my time has been spent getting caught up on Jericho (I must mention how magnanimous Speed Racer is for letting me use his beautiful television).

Tomorrow, we are taking a little trip to the Poconos. Third Son and three of his friends are going to the Invasion of Normandy at Skirmish in Jim Thorpe, PA. Speed Racer and I in our well-practiced roles as chauffeurs are driving them up there, and then spending the night in a B&B nearby, while they paintball their brains out. It promises to be a beautiful weekend, and Jim Thorpe is (I have heard) a very nice town to hang out in for a day or two.

We had to rent a van for this expedition, and I decided not to rent from Budget after my last experience with them. So I rented from Hertz instead. When we got there to pick up the van, the office was closed, and the rental agent was nowhere in sight. Also there was no van visible in the parking lot, which Speed Racer thoughtfully pointed out. Eventually, the guy turned up (some story about having to take a car to the body shop because the renter got in an accident.) Then he announced he didn't actually have a van there. Speed Racer was all "I told you so," and the guy said he had to go down to the airport to get a van for us. He promised he'd be back in 20 minutes. Which, believe it or not, he was! We entertained ourselves by going to the liquor store. The van was unwashed and unvacuumed (not a big deal when you're going to put four teenage boys in it.) But, I didn't to have drive to King of Prussia, so I guess it was a better experience than renting from Budget. Also, the guy gave me two 15% discounts, which was really nice.

I made the Jericho plunge

Yes I did. I watched Jericho on Friday. Okay, well not exactly Friday, because Speed Racer and I had planned to watch Dr. Who. And I know the Jericho fanatics want us to actually watch it when it's on and not DVR it, but that's what I did. I thought it was pretty good, and I hear it gets better.

And now I have to watch 12 or 13 episodes before next Friday! So sorry to anyone who thinks I am going to cook, clean, or drive them anywhere. Fortunately, First Son has them all on his laptop.

Lilies

These double orange lilies are blooming in the front yard right now. Of course, I have no clue what variety they are, or where I got them.
The pink ones I got in the K-mart in Rehoboth, Delaware a couple of years ago. I went with my mother to buy paper towels and laundry detergent. These are the first Asiatic lilies that have deigned to grow for me.

Good news

Chocolate reduces blood pressure


If they do another one of these studies, sign me up!

Wanna see my frog?

Random house

Second Son got a job (yay!) -- he is going to be a barrista at a Starbucks in University City.

First Son's girlfriend gave him an extremely short hair cut. He now looks completely different from the were-bear we brought back from college, especially because he also shaved off his beard for his job.

Third Son is taking Brazilian ju-jitsu. This seems to be a sport in which people roll around on the floor and grunt. I have been told that there is more too it than that, but that's all I can see.

Dog has taken to barking at me incessantly while I am blogging.

Speed Racer, First Son, Third Son and a couple of Third Son's friends went to see the new Transformers movie at midnight last night. They said it was a good movie, but they never played the Transformers theme, which was disappointing (apparently.) Also, Bumblebee is not a VW Beetle in the movie, which is practically sacrilege.

Second Son's cell phone never came back.

MIssion Trip: We're Back!

We're back, Third Son and I, from the mission trip. It was terrific, and we both really enjoyed it.

We left early(ish) Sunday morning. St. Paul and I had told the kids and their families to meet us at the church at 7:30, so we could be on the road no later than 8:00. Of course, we ended up not showing up at the church until 7:55, but hey, everyone else was there and ready to go. A quick stop in the church, where we interrupted the (usually) quiet and staid 8:00 service to get a blessing, and we were on our way.

When we got to North Carolina 8 or so hours later, we met the other groups attending that week - anther small group (from Michigan) and a huge group from Minnesota. To my relief, we all seemed to fall in a comfortable spot on the religious spectrum, and the kids from Michigan and Minnesota were delightful. Our kids were a little stand-offish for oh, maybe 6 minutes 30 seconds, and then they dove in, getting to know everyone, and learning to speak Minnesotan.

In the course of 4 working days, we made new friends, painted a church (my crew) and a house (St. Paul's crew, who also experienced "Southern hospitality" from their homeowners, including a "frahhed" chicken lunch wiht "paah" for dessert), played with some of the cutest kids ever in Kids Club, thought a lot about poverty in the US, cheated at Uno with the developmentally disabled clients of Mattamuskeet Opportunities, pondered what the world would be like if we really tried to live like Jesus, washed a lot of dishes, scratched a lot of mosquito bites, ate a lot more than we usually would, went crabbing, canoeing, and to a Wednesday night service at a local Baptist Church (which our Episcopalian kids LOVED!) and got to know ourselves a whole lot better. Plus, my cell phone and Blackberry had no service, so I got to really get away from work. The weather was hot, but with a cooling breeze all week.

On Thursday night, we had a community cook-out, to which all the people we had served during the week were invited. Seeing some of the folks, whom I had thought we wouldn't have a chance to see again, was like a little glimpse of some people's vision of heaven -- the banquet table where we will meet all our friends and loved ones and party for a few centuries. The cookout was only about an hour and half though, not even one century. After the cook-out, we had a foot-washing service -- as a demonstration of "servant-leadership" the Youthworks staff washed the feet of the adult leaders of each church group, and then we washed the feet of our kids, who were awed by the experience.

On Friday, we went to Nags Head to go kayaking. The kids sang all the way -- all the songs they had learned during the week. We visited Kitty Hawk and then made our way to the kayak store. Our appointment for our expedition was at 2 pm -- at 2:01, it started to rain and thunder --and it rained solidly until 9 pm! No worries though, the church we were staying in, St Andrews by the Sea, has a beautiful youth room with (thank goodness) a TV and DVD player, as well as an air hockey table and a foosball table. So we had a hilarious dinner out together, rented a movie, and relaxed for our last night together.

So now we're home. Thanks to everyone who kept us in your prayers (or thoughts).

Mission trip: van expectations

Today was the day to pick up our rental van for the mission trip. St. Paul, (who is my partner in crime and co-leader for the trip) and I had a plan. I would drive down to his house at 9:00, pick him up, we'd go and get the van, and he'd drive home in it and I'd go on my merry way.

We were a little worried when we got close to the the car rental office, and didn't see a 12-passenger van in the parking lot, but not to worry, when we pulled into the lot we saw it behind the office, getting vacuumed. As the rental agent was getting ready to print out the forms for us to sign, she stopped and said "uh oh - we have an age problem." Uh oh? St. Paul and I are both well over 25, so what could the problem be? It turned out that the van had an age problem -- at 26,000 miles they weren't allowed to rent it to us. There was no way -- they simply couldn't do it!

"We're so sorry," we were told -- "we will call around to other Budget locations and get you another van. Why don't you go home and we'll call you when we get it. "

So we came back to my house, and I called every car rental place I could find. There were no 12-passenger vans available anywhere!

St. Paul and I decided that if Budget couldn't find us another 12 passenger, we'd just rent two mini-vans. We called Budget back, and no they hadn't found us another 12-passenger, so we went back up to the rental office to rent two mini-vans. Speed Raver dropped us off, as we would have to drive the two mini-vans back.

St. Paul asked the rental agent if she could give us the two mini-vans for the price of the 12-passenger. She said she couldn't do, and suddenly revealed that there was indeed another 12-passenger around (hallelujah!) -- but it was in King of Prussia. Someone could bring it to our rental office and it would arrive in about an hour We decided that we would give them an hour and a half. I walked over the the gym to work out, and St. Paul hitched a ride back to his house from one of the rental agents. Half-way home, she got a cell phone call - the mini van she was driving him home in was needed for a rental -- the folks who were renting it were waiting back in the office. So he had to walk the rest of the way home.

After the appointed 90 minutes, we reconvened at the rental office ( I was fresh from the gym, and rather badly needing a shower). The agent informed us that the 12-passenger van had not even left King of Prussia yet!

So we got in St. Paul's car, drove up to King of Prussia, and finally got the van!
It hadn't even been cleaned from the last rental, the windscreen was covered in bugs and we found the following inside: An umbrella, a completely unused Mad-Libs book, a dime, a large brown feather, which St. Paul identified as a turkey feather, a brown paper lunch bag and plenty of loose Cheerios and Kix. The time? 2:00 pm. Only took us five hours to get that van. But we got it.

So hopefully that was the hard part of the trip!

I'll be back with all the news on July 1.

Plase your bets update: Friday and Saturday

guess what?








no cell phone

Place Your Bets Update

Thursday
No cell phone


also: Going to the Dogs update
Puppy still there next door. He's not going anywhere!

Place your bets update

Wednesday
no cell phone

Mission trip update: dress code

The organization that runs the site where we are going for our mission trip has a very strict dress code, which is directed mostly at the girls. It's pretty reasonable -- no short shorts, no midriff tops, no t-shirts with offensive words, or advertising for alcohol, cigarettes etc. The one restriction that I don't get is no tank tops. Gotta have those shoulders covered. Now, women wear sleeveless shirts and tank tops (the dressier sort) in my office in the summer. I never thought of them as being racy. Now I look at women who wear tank tops and think, "wow, look at her in that tank top -- she must be a hussy!" (Just kidding!)
First thing I'm going to do when we get home is put on a tank top and parade around in it. If my shoulders lead someone into temptation, so be it.

Place your bets update

It's Tuesday. No cell phone yet. I called it today, and it went straight to voice-mail.

Is it in the mail?
Did the suspect turn it off because she was sick of Second Son's friends harassing her?
Did the phone battery run down, and the suspect not feel like investing in a charger?

We'll see, we'll see.

Mission trip

One week from today, Third Son and I will be in North Carolina on a mission trip with some of the youth from our church. Eight of us (six kids and two adults) will all pile into a van and head for a week of service and of learning about all kinds of people, different from the people we spend most of our time with.

We'll be in a rural county, and some of us will be doing work projects such as helping with home repairs or cleaning up playgrounds, and some will spend our days helping at a day program for local kids. For our kids, raised in an environment where they can easily catch "affluenza," meeting the people we will be helping to serve will be eye-opening. But even more eye-opening will be our fellow Christians. Our kids, raised in a "main-line" church, have not met many people whose approach to Christianity is, shall we say, more evangelical than ours. Even in church, we're pretty low-key about our faith. We'll be a pretty small group mixed in with some large groups from other churches. Also, I'm pretty sure our general political persuasion will be a little (or a lot) to the left of most of the other people there (although I could be wrong about that.) So we're headed for a learning experience for all.

The other thing about this trip is that this is the first time we've gone without a minister from our church. At the end of the planned program everyday, we meet with "our kids" to debrief the day. I told the other leader who was going that I would lead those sessions, as he hates to do that kind of stuff. So if you're the kind of person who prays, pray that we'll all be open-minded (even me!) and pray that I will be able to respond as the kids need in our debrief times together....and if you're not the sort who prays, think kindly of us next week!

Place your bets

Last week, Second Son left his cell phone on the train. (Or least, that what he thought he did.) He checked with the Lost and Found a couple of days later, and of course it hadn't been turned in. I didn't call the cell phone carrier to have the service turned off because I cultivated a vague hope that he had really left it in his friend's car or some other nearby spot.

Yesterday, his friend Kelly called his number, and somebody answered and immediately hung up. So we knew the phone was still alive -- and had fallen into the hands of someone who was enjoying the free service!

Second Son sent a text message to the phone: "Mail my phone back to me, and I'll send you $20.00."

A few minutes later, he got a reply: "Where?"

Several text messages and phone calls later, he extracted an agreement from the perpetrator to get it sent back.

So place your bets: will it really come back? And if so, when? And if it does, should we supplement the promised $20 with the postage the perp will have to pay?

Going to the dogs

There is a new puppy next door. Our neighbor says she is not going to keep him and that she is going to give him back. She says that every day. The next day, he is still there!

Pride Month

June is Pride Month, when the gay community observes the Stonewall Rebellion and celebrates sexual diversity. The day before yesterday, I had a chance to be proud of Second Son, who is an amazing person (even if I say so myself).
Big Company has several "affinity groups." There is one for African-American employees, one for Asian employees, one for Hispanic employees, one for women, and one for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered employees and "straight allies." I am a member of this last group, being (I guess) a "straight ally."
On Tuesday, we organized one of several Pride Month events, which was a panel discussion by members of PFLAG. Now I am not actually a member of PFLAG but I am a parent of a gay teenager (Second Son), and since I helped to organize the event, I also was a member of the panel. I invited Second Son to come and also be a member of the panel. Second Son was amazing (I know, I'm his mother, so I'm biased, but still...) He told his story of coming out in high school at Mom's work to a whole bunch of adults, most of whom he had never met before. He was eloquent and honest. I don' think I could have done such a thing, never mind discuss such a personal and difficult topic in public when I was 19. Really something to be proud of!

The sad case of Flea

The case of Flea has had me thinking about anonymous blogging, especially as it relates to professional life. Flea was undoubtedly foolish to blog about his malpractice trial, which makes me wonder why such an apparently intelligent and thoughtful person would do something so personally and professionally dangerous. Is the catharsis of blogging so addictive that one could lose sight of common sense -- or can an anonymous blogger feel so secure in his or her anonymity that an appropriate sense of risky behavior no longer exists?

Another favorite of mine, Fat Doctor, briefly shut down her blog after being "outed" to her boss. Fat Doctor is thankfully back blogging (and soon starting a new job), but her situation has made me determined that my blog will never contain anything that I wouldn't want my boss (or Speed Racer, or my kids) to see. And I still won't blog about work, until I know that Big Company has really figured what their approach to employee blogging will be. I am not a doctor, so I don't have to worry about patient confidentiality, but I am privy to confidential company information, and while I love Big Company (they really are a great company to work for for), I couldn't be unfailingly uncritical. So maybe not as much catharsis for me, but perhaps a little more peace of mind. I do reserve the right to comment on our industry in general!

When Second Son first had a blog, he left it up on the computer one day. I noted the URL and read it every now and then. He was furious with me -- I think he thought it was like I had been reading his diary. But he published it on the internet -- in full view of the whole world -- including his mother! So maybe I was a little sneaky for noting that URL. Sorry sweetie!

As for anonymity, I not ready to blog using my real name -- or to share my e-mail. Maybe someday, when all the spammers have realized the error of their ways...but in the mean time, although I am being at least semi-anonymous, I will write as though any reader will be able to figure out who I am.

All of this of course is basically flattering myself that anyone (other than Speed Racer and ccpdppr read this anyway!)

School is over!

School is over (for Third Son) . He had his last two final today, and then to celebrate, had his last two baby teeth pulled. Pretty soon he will get together with his buddies, and at a ceremonial bonfire they will burn all the papers from 10th grade that they don't need to keep (which is most of them.) I will not have to hurry in the shower in the morning (for some reason, he likes to use our bathroom), and my evenings will not be spent nagging him about homework. He is going to find a job (hopefully one that he can start after we get back from our youth group trip to North Carolina), and take Brazilian Jujitsu.

I dimly remember the sheer bliss of starting summer vacation -- a sense of freedom that has never been duplicated by grown-up one-week vacations. I envy him!

A good deal

Third Son sent me an e-mail today. It said, "Can I work out some kind of a deal with you so I can get an iPod?"

I think he thought that I would say something like "yes, sweetie, just take out the garbage for a week and I'll get you an iPod."

I e-mailed him back that I had thought of a good deal -- he could get a job, and then he could buy his own iPod.

So tonight I had to drive him to Arby's so he could fill out an application.

It always ends up with me driving someone somewhere!

Another mouth to feed

While dinner was cooking tonight, Speed Racer and I entertained ourselves by feeding the fish. I was standing on the deck, looking down at the pond, and thinking that one of the goldfish had really grown a lot. The goldfish have doubled in size (if not tripled) since we first put them in the pond last summer. Speed Racer told me that I was extremely unobservant -- and had been for a couple of days. Turns out, he had bought another koi and added it to the pond. It is that red goldfish color, with a white face.

The other koi has been playing "Jaws." When Speed Racer throws a cube of dried tubifex worms into the pond, he hums the "Jaws" theme, and the koi, on cue, rises from the depths, and grabs the cube with a flourish and an audible snap of its jaws. It even does that sort of twisting on it's back thing that the sharks do on the Discovery channel. The worm cube never fights back!

Books

The three books I am trying to finish:

The third book in Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series: Grave Peril (I started reading the books after watching the TV series on Sci Fi). Fun, but three is enough for me.
Two really interesting books by Gina Kolata, the science writer for the NY Times: Rethinking Thin The New Science of Weight Loss--and the Myths and Realities of Dieting, and Ultimate Fitness: The Quest for Truth About Exercise and Health, which give really interesting insights into the myths and realities of the diet and exercise industry and the "obesity epidemic." Everyone involved in nutrition and/or fitness should read these two books.

Next up: Cell by Stephen King. (A Christmas present from Speed Racer that I haven't gotten too yet.)

I miss Lost

It's been two weeks now since the season finale of Lost, and I am lost. (Boy, does that sound pathetic.). Somehow, I will make it through till next February when we will get Season Four. There is plenty of real life to distract me, between family and work. But still, the thought of a Wednesday night with Lost is a little depressing.

I steady myself with the thought that not only did I survive David Duchovny leaving the X-Files, I even survived his return and the ultimate horrible death of that show. Why, going back to the days of my childhood, I survived the end of Star Trek (yes, the ORIGINAL Star Trek) and the end of the Partridge Family, and the end of Knight Rider. So I can do it! I can make it to February! I'm tough, I can read fan fic (well I can read some fan fic-- some even I can't bring myself to read) and I can watch my Season One and Season Two DVDs. I can check Amazon and see if I can pre-order Season Three DVDs. I can do it and I will!

I don't watch a lot of TV

For several years, I have maintained the fiction that I don't watch a lot of TV. I have made this claim in public, and no-one has ever questioned my veracity. Well, for someone who doesn't watch a lot of TV, I sure have a lot of shows to DVR when I go away. And I always turn the TV on in my bedroom first thing in the morning, and if I am by myself in a hotel room, I always have the TV on.
So this time of year, when most of the networks have wrapped up for the season (except for SciFi), I have to live the life of someone who really doesn't watch a lot of TV. It's hard to live the truth!
Maybe, I'll even finish the 3 books I've been reading off and on.

Beasties

We share our house with a number of critters: one Dog, three Cats, and a Burmese python. The Dog is half basenji, and half (we believe) chihuahua. He looks something like a basenji, with little round bulbous chihuahua eyes, but unlike a basenji, he has a loud and annoying bark. As he gets older and more senile, he used this bark more and more often. He drives us completely crazy and we completely adore him.

The three cats are all black and white, but one (the Evil Cat) is more white than black. He HATES the two other cats. HATES HATES HATES them. They make his blood boil. He wishes them dead (after preferably a miserable torturous death.) For this reason, we must maintain cat apartheid. At all times, we have to be aware of where the cats are and make sure that the Evil White Cat does not end up in the same room as the black cats. If he does, there will be a fight, and it will be a horrible thing. Speed Racer puts up with this daily disruption only because it is necessary to me to have cats -- even if they are Evil. Thank you Speed Racer! The picture above is of the Evil Cat playing Godzilla in Speed Racer's North Pole Village.

The python belongs to Second Son. It eats rats, and the less said about that, the better!

I am cool

Second Son's friend Kelly is sitting here watching me post on my blog and she just said that it is weird seeing an parent posting to a blog. I thought that was funny, so I starting writing this post, and she said, "are you writing that I said it was weird to see a parent blogging?"

and I said yes.

we both laughed.

What was really cool was that I had send the link to my blog to my family, and my brother e-mailed me and as a result he stopped by our house for dinner (which is not that easy as he lives in New England and I live elsewhere on the East Coast.) So blogging is good. And I am a cool parent who blogs.

The Life Aquatic

Last summer, Speed Racer and I, in a fit of foolishness, dug a pond in our back yard. Well, to be really honest, Speed Racer did most of the really efficacious digging. The result looks like this.
It's not very big, (Speed Racer's brother says it is a puddle) and it is not all pretty and elegant, like the pond that some people dug in a yard a couple of blocks away, on the very same weekend we dug ours. But it provides us with endless entertainment. There is a filter that needs to be cleaned and plants that need to be taken care of, and best of all, five fish. They are four goldfish and a koi. There used to be two koi, but one died almost immediately (I think he was shocked by the lack of elegance he was expected to live with.) These fish have lived in the pond for almost a year now, putting up with rain, snow, leaves, trash, and mud. They have gotten bigger and bigger and fatter and fatter. Speed Racer says that pretty soon we are going to barbecue that koi.
Late last summer, a frog moved into the pond. He/she hibernated in or near the pond, and has now invited two friends to join him/her. We are hoping that they will make some tadpoles who can eat the algae that have bloomed in the pond. The fish can eat the tadpoles, and the circle of life will be complete. Jacques Cousteau would be proud.

Fooled by my Blackberry

I had a great time in San Francisco – it was the first time I ever stayed in the city, rather than going to Newark or Mountain View or Palo Alto. I stayed at Fisherman’s Wharf, walked four miles to the UCSF campus (at least on the first day), and after the conference ended last night, I had a whirlwind self-guided tour of the city. I got dropped off at Union Square, where I got on a cable car to Fisherman’s Wharf. I shook off Jerry, a homeless(?) guy who seemed to think he was going to be my tour guide. The cable car ride was amazing – I was so excited to really be on a cable car, so see the views from the top of the hill. After weeks and weeks of feeling crazed and frustrated and harried by life in general, I was elated to be immersed in this experience. I realized that I had really missed being by myself, and really missed traveling and the new experiences it brings. All this for five bucks! Later I went to Pier 39 and had dinner at the Sea Lion Café. Listening to and watching the sea lions was the best dinner show I’ve seen in a long lime. I went shopping on Pier 39 and bought wine (for the family) and chocolate (for the family and for the office) and a North Pole Village piece for Speed Racer, who collects them.
Today, planning on a 12:15 flight, I got up early and took off in the other direction. I walked up to Ghiradelli Square, (after giving $5 to another homeless guy who was pretending to be an actor doing a performance to raised money for a shelter for the mentally ill), and then walked all the way up Hyde Street to the top of the hill, and came back down via Lombard Street (the crookedest street in America). Then back to Pier 39 to buy some fruit to eat on the plane, and back to the hotel to catch the airport shuttle. I really really enjoyed myself. Only problem was, my flight was at 9:15. My Blackberry was still on East Coast time, and the reservation on the Blackberry, which looked like it was for 12:15, was three hours off! So while I was walking down Lombard Street, admiring the flowers and watching the tourists take pictures, my plane was taking off without me. As soon as I figured it out, I called my fearless assistant, who got me on a 1:00 flight, for a ridiculous payment (Big Company saves money by making us buy non-refundable, non-transferable tickets). So I’ll get home a few hours later. I feel guilty about enjoying myself so much, especially now I know how much my mistake cost! (but the conference was free, and I ate on the cheap….)

I am Surprised!

I am writing this on a plane flying back to the East Coast from San Francisco, where I attended the Institute for the Future’s Health Horizons Spring Conference: New Media Technologies & the Biocitizen. In my last post I said that I wasn’t going to blog about work, because I didn’t think that Big Company would be amused. I mentioned this in passing in the hearing of Dmitriy of Trusted.MD. He told me that he had been involved in discussions with Big Company, who are reaching out to healthcare bloggers, and that Big Company is thinking of putting out a policy supporting employee blogging. So who knows, maybe I will be blogging about work – we’ll see!

Meet the Family

I think this blog is going to be more about family life than work; I work for a Big Company, and I don't think they'd be amused if I shared too much of the goings on there.

So meet the family!

My husband's name is Speed Racer. That's not the name his parents gave him, but it is the name of my first childhood crush. He's 49 years old and has been 49 for at least four years now. He is "retired" -- we figured out a few years ago that we really needed a parent at home for our teenage sons, and he left his job at the chemical company with no regrets. His mother and a few friends keep asking him when he's gong back to work...if he says he's retired they say "okay."

First Son is 23, and just graduated from college with a liberal arts degree. He's living with us and trying to decide/see what comes next. First Son's Girlfriend also lives with us. She dropped out of college, and is going to beauty school.

Second Son is 19. He graduated from high school two years ago, and is living with us and trying to decide/see what comes next. He is currently "between jobs." He has a boyfriend we like a lot, but who is also not going to college.

Third Son is 16 and in 10th grade. He plays video games, and lives in the basement. I am a little worried that he will still be there in 20 years.

So we are waiting (and waiting) for our nest to empty.

My first post

I've been thinking about blogging for a while -- I spend a lot of time at the computer in highly useful activities, like reading Television Without Pity, and playing Spider Solitaire. So why not do something potentially more interesting and possibly even more addictive? After all, I too have opinions! Some of them are half-baked, and some barely warmed over. And my life is fascinating to me, so perhaps there are some poor souls out here who would, having driven themselves mad lurking on websites and playing Spider Solitaire would gain some measure of comfort knowing that they are not alone in their pathetic lives.
So here goes...
oh my gosh...
it's almost time for Lost...
I'll be back